Graduations!!!

It was graduation day yesterday for the third year students and like everything else in Japan it was held in a dignified, formal and completely overblown fashion. Starting a month before the actual ceremony, the students practiced it like crazy. Hours are spent learning how to stand in a uniform fashion, how to sit in a uniformed fashion, how to bow in a uniformed fashion. Uniform is clearly the key aspect here. The anal-ness in which everything is performed is mind boggling. If you've never seen a Japanese formal ceremony let me give you an example.

The procedure to follow if you must perform a speech:

1) Stand up and walk out from behind the table.
2) Bow to the important people for which the speech is intended (e.g. if your from the PTA, Board of Education, etc and you've been invited to attend the graduation ceremony you would bow to the principal.) The people you have to bow to may be 80m away from you. Completely disregard the distance and continue to bow.
3) Walk to the stage.
4) Bow to the stairs which you will eventually ascend to reach the stage you will give your speech from.
5) Ascend said stairs and bow to the area you will stand when you actually give your speech.
6) Walk to mic, adjust it to your needs, take a step back and then...
7) Bow to the audience.

Then you actually give your speech which is always written out. Learning a speech apparently takes too much effort after having to learn all the bowing procedures. Although it does have at least one advantage. The speeches tend to be written on long paper that is folded up like a fan (this is probably another 'important' procedure which must be followed) and so as they read their speech you can see the heaped side shift from the right to the left and you can tell how much longer the suffering will continue. Oh and once the speech is over, all the steps are repeated in reverse order.

I attended one of the practices at Ootori junior high school just to see what its like since I wasn't going to be able to attend their graduation as I had to attend Yon chu's. My favourite moment was when one of the teachers was explaining the timing to sit down. After maybe 20mins deliberation, it was decided that the students were to sit as soon as his head began to dip as he descended the stairs. The original plan was to sit the moment his foot touched the first step but the students in the back couldn't see the stairs so that idea was abandoned.


I wish I could have taken pictures of Yon chu's ceremony but it was pretty formal and I didn't want to look stupid and whip out a camera and start taking photos. There was a film crew from NHK news and I really hate stupid looking foreigners on Japanese T.V. so there was no way I was gonna be one of them. If I could have, there would have been lots of pictures of kids crying. The first kid I noticed was when they were getting their certificates. Each student had to stand up, walk on to the stage, after their name was read say 'hai' and then get their certificate from the Principal. And bow a couple of times in-between all that. It took about 40secs to process each kid. And I do mean 'process' cause it really did look like a factory. If people could only speak the truth like Jim Carey did in that horrible movie, the Principal would probably say something like:

"Hey kid here’s your certificate. Despite how cool it looks, it has absolutely no value to it. Yea you finished junior high and have technically graduated but this isn't going to get you into high school. You still need to pass those entrance tests. You did pass them right? Oh well anyway we won't see you again and your no longer our concern. If anything this certificate should really say: 'They managed to get rid of me.' See ya later... chump." - Your old school.

So one kid went to get his marvellous 'certificate' and he was crying his eyes out. And I mean really crying. His eyes were screwed up and there was snot dangling out his nose and his head was jerking back and forth. It really did look like his face had turned inside out. He couldn't even say 'hai' he just said 'eeeeeegggghhh.' I don't even remember if I had a graduation at elementary school. I don't even remember if we had one in high school. I do remember a prize giving at high school and I especially remember not attending and forfeiting some certificate I was supposed to get (which shows how much I didn't care about school) thus making me much cooler than anyone that did go. But I don't remember anything like a graduation. Oh and I'm not a prick. I still see people from high school well after the fact and still enjoy seeing them. I just didn't want to go to some stupid event. Clearly for this kid it was a big deal though. I bet some people were incredible moved but I was busy thinking how it was kinda pathetic. The first thing that popped into my mind was "Oh man this guy is definitely gonna be on the news. Japanese people love this shit." And you know what happened? About 10mins after the ceremony on the 12pm news, there in all his tearful glory was that sad looking kid. I actually thought it was a well contrived ploy to get on the news in the first place and almost congratulated him on it.

After everyone gets their certificates they march around the gym and let all the parents and everyone who came observe them in all their glory followed by more speeches, bowing, sitting, singing, bowing, crying and then everyone gets to go. Finally. It only took about 2 hours for the whole ceremony but I had to be there earlier and it was just flat out boring so it seemed like an eternity.

After the ceremony the third year students go back to their classrooms and the parents pile around to watch something. I'm not entirely sure what because at this point I had retreated back to the teachers’ room. They got flowers and words of wisdom or something.

While all the 3rd year students are doing that everyone else gets ready for the only cool part of the day. The part of the day that actually makes going to the ceremony bearable in the first place.

All the first and second year students form two big lines that weave from the school door way and go all the way to the school gate. Then the third year students leave the school for the last time and walk through the lines of people. Kohei's exchanging presents, words of encouragement, goodbyes and best wishes with their senpai's.

At this point it's an actual farewell event. Millions of pictures with teachers and friends are taken. I think I could bare the ceremony if I knew that something like that was to follow.